Wednesday, March 06, 2002

Barely hanging on

I've been submersed in trying to finish a rough draft of a paper, which I sent to the professor tonight. I certainly do not feel the relief of a job well done or even sufficiently done, but the professor told me to send the paper "as is" by 8:00 PM tonight, so I swallowed my pride, trampled on my insecurities, and sent it.

No other thinking has been going on. My primary emotional state has been a dull numbness of wanting to get this over with. The few bright spots in this bleak landscape included playing for the English and Spanish services at church on Sunday, escaping to my job that pays money and offers the satisfactions of defined tasks and sociability, and taking walks in the neighborhood to revel in the freshness of spring.

Nature's landscape continues to be glorious, in spite of me:

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